We all have hopes and dreams, ambitions for achieving more in our
lives. We all want to do something new, or let go of something that no
longer serves us. So what keeps holding us back?
Many times, we are the road block on our path to success. It is our
own doubts, fears, and insecurities that keep us from doing what we need
to do to succeed.
So how can you start getting out of your own way? I have learnt on some few ways that can help you keep in track towards living a fulfilling life.
1. Take Responsibility for Your Own Life and Your Current Situation:
This can be one of the hardest things you’ll ever do but it is also one
of the most empowering. Everyone has their own “blame story” that they
need to release: He did this to me, she won’t let me do it, they always
make me feel like I can’t, he’s holding me back, I had this experience
or that experience, etc. While these may all be valid events or
situations, it is your response to those experiences that determines
whether you’re really holding yourself back or moving yourself forward.
Once you take responsibility for your own life, you can stop blaming others for your situation and also stop being a victim.
When you no longer think like a victim, you realize YOU can change your
personal situation, you can easily choose to do things differently.
Nelson Mandela once said that "as I walked out the door toward the gate that would lead to my freedom, I knew if I didn’t leave my bitterness and hatred behind, I’d still be in prison.”
What is your “blame story”? How can you begin to let go of that
today? Many times it’s about forgiving. Other times, it’s reframing the
situation and choosing to look at things differently, in a more positive
and constructive way. For example, instead of thinking about it like “I
was put in a bad situation and now I’ll never succeed,” you might think
“How do I move ahead and make this better?”
In almost all cases, it takes practice. It takes observing your
mindset. When you find yourself slipping back into your old way of
thinking, you must make a conscious shift. Over time, you will succeed.
2. Identify Your Self-Limiting Beliefs – Replace Them With A Powerful Mantra:
You may think “I don’t blame other people, so this doesn’t really apply
to me.” However, you still may be limiting yourself. You may not even
realize that you have self-limiting beliefs. But if you pay attention,
they will reveal themselves. Some of the most common self-limiting
beliefs are:
- I don’t deserve to make any more money.
- There are so many people already doing what I want to do, I’ll never succeed anyway.
- People who have money are dishonest. Honest people like me just don’t have that kind of financial success.
- I’m not as good as 123 at my job. She deserves it more than I do.
- I don’t deserve it because of 123.
- I’m not good enough, smart enough, thin enough, rich enough, young enough, etc.
- I don’t have enough education, training, certifications, etc.
What are your self-limiting beliefs? Observe your thoughts and write
them down. Acknowledging those beliefs is the first step to changing
them. Replace them with positive affirmations or mantras. Affirmations
are positive statements you can read or think about to help shift your
mindset, while mantras are specific items of focus. Both affirmations
and mantras are powerful tools to help you eliminate what’s holding you
back.
One of my favorite financial role models has been Suze Orman. When
she was a struggling waitress, she didn’t feel strong or confident and
also didn’t know how to manage her money. In her book, The Money Class,
Suze Orman recounts how she recited the following mantra at least three
times per day to help her shift her beliefs, and today, she is all
those things:
I am young, powerful, and successful, and I make at least $10,000 a month. ~ Suze Orman’s Mantra at Age 29
What is one mantra you can create and begin using today? Write it
down and place it in conspicuous places – on your bathroom mirror, on
your computer, in your wallet, by your alarm clock. Practice reciting it
over and over again. You will notice an immediate shift in your
mindset. Keep your mantra short so it is easy to remember, and don’t
limit yourself. Suze used the term “at least” when talking about money.
Also, don’t use the terms, “I wish” or “I hope.” Be strong in your
mantra.
3. Stop Worrying About What Other People Think:
We’ve all heard this one before, but seriously, stop worrying about what
other people think. Focus on being true to yourself and becoming the
person you know you can be. When you spend time worrying about what
someone else might think, what they want you to do or not do, you are
limiting yourself and not achieving your full potential.
4. Stop “Shoulding” On Yourself:
This phrase comes
from Tony Robbins and is an easy habit to slip into. “I should go to the
gym more, I should eat healthier, I should work harder, I should, I
should, I should…..”
Every time you use should statements, you are telling yourself that
you’re not enough and that you’re not doing enough. This causes you to
feel guilt and anxiety which isn’t very empowering. Instead of using
should statements, change them to I want to, I will, or I am. You will
feel more empowered and will eliminate the guilt that comes with should
statements.
5. Stop Using Unhealthy Coping Strategies:
When
you’re feeling stressed or discouraged, you may turn to unhealthy coping
mechanisms. You know what they are – overeating, drinking, smoking,
ignoring your positive routines, pulling away from your friends and
family, or feeling sorry for yourself. I strongly believe that we all have them.
.........Success is all in your mind........
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